The steps of mourning - Advice to friends

When you loose a child there is so many instant changes in your life. In you as a person, in your live. I thought tonight i will share some of that with you. Initially you stat with deny. It is almost if you can not believe that this has happened to you. For me it is almost two years now and it still feels so unreal as the day it happened. then comes the anger. your angry with just about everyone and everything. it is almost like you push away people and you don't even know your doing it. then your friends talk around your child. as if it is not ok to talk about him. come on people it is not like 14 years never happened. talk to me about him, sometimes it hurts, but most of the time it helps in the healing process. Then, never tell me it gets better, it does not. You simply live with your new found pain. Like it is part of you. Don't ever think if there is more children that they will fill the void, because nothing will ever fill the void. Biggest no no, never tell n parent if they don't stop mourning the child can not rest. Nonsense, God intended for me to love my child, and if i did the way God intended i will mourn my child years to still come. Fact is we all have different pain barriers and we all have different ways of dealing with our issues. What seems small to you can be huge to me. The biggest word of advice i can give is, never ever say i know how you feel, fact is you don't. It is not in the norm of life for a parent to bury a child. We are not put on this earth to do that, but sometimes God has plans with us and that is why He allows our lives to follow that journey. Some days i can not get myself to get out of bed. it feels like i can not breath. Then comes the words, he is better off and pain free. please don't tell me that, i know that. I raised my child, i know he is a christian, i know by Jesus he is no longer handicapped. the thing is i miss him, i want him by me. allow me to adjust to him being gone. It takes time, allow me the time.